C, my esteemed office-mate (on paper he also shares a lab with me, but he's always either in the office or hiding under the NMR machine), is applying for a fellowship, and after tarting up his CV now requires a reference from the Head. This is somewhat problematic for C because the Head has told him to write his own reference, and return it for signing. C asked for my opinion on this strategy and I'm afraid I was not wholly complimentary.
I appreciate that Heads are very busy people and can not physically know all the people in a Department well enough to write a reference. So what is wrong with asking the referenced's boss? This is an unfair burden on C and somewhat defeats the object of the exercise. In an effort to restore harmony to our office I offered to write the reference. Here is what I came up with:
Dr Chou En Ginsberg is a valued member of the Revolutionary Australian Guard. His multifarious talents would not be out of place in a Mossad death squad. He displays astonishing scientific insight and superlative technical skill. My only regret is that he can not be persuaded to use his powers for good rather than evil.
He can solve solution structures of proteins just by listening to the NMR magnet hum. His unlimited capacity for food is exceeded only by his capacity for more food. Despite this he keeps himself in peak physical condition, although he has been known to suffer from kookaburras.
I would have no hesitation in recommending him for a high-ranking position in any number of unstable and radical governments; unfortunately I can not allow you to employ him as he is far too dangerous to be let out of the lab.
I think that's fair.
Comments
So, are you going to send this off to the Head to see if he/she notices?
Posted by: Whiffling again | April 16, 2007 01:06 AM
It's a thought, El Whifflo.
I did get an email from Dr Chou En Ginsberg, thanking me for the reference. He says
"it shows the funding agency that I'm capable of doing the research but even more importantly, if I'm not given the money, they can run but they can't hide (the Mossad always find their man)."
but I fear he may be confusing Mossad with the Canadian Mounties. Heart-warmingly, he was more thrilled that he got an entire Labrats entry to himself.
Posted by: BL | April 16, 2007 07:42 AM
Definitely laziness on the part of the department head. The very least he could do is to ask the officemate or another subaltern colleague to write the recommendation in his stead, rather than the recommendee himself. But it's common practice.
Posted by: Alethea | April 16, 2007 08:37 PM