I must be the only person in Sydney who hates James Blunt.
Everywhere I go, I can't escape him! I hear his moaning songs, I see his face on billboards, I occasionally catch grabs of converstion that invariably begin with, "Oh my God, it's like he's singing about my life."
I am taking a stand.
This Tuesday, February 14, (yep, I know, V-Day) is now the Inaugural Anti-James Blunt Day.
Join me for a day without melancholic mourning, without pining for love unfound, without grieving for paradise lost.
This may seem like an extreme response, given the timing. But Valentine's Day, I think, is the perfect day to say adieu to JB. His songs (and mind you, I'm writing about the only two songs I've heard, 'You're Beautiful' and 'Goodbye, My Lover') have turned my otherwise placid, 'water-off-a-duck's-back' attitude to Valentine's Day to a set of emotions more akin to those of Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction.
It is JB's particular brand of weepy, woe-is-me ballads that make a predisposed cynic like me become a fully-fledged Sister Sledge-Them-All.
Some may say this is because I'm facing my first Valentine's Day alone in three years. And these people might be right. But I'm sure there are some loved-up twosomes out there who find JB as nauseating as a peanut-butter-and-mayonnaise sandwich melting in the summer heat.
JB makes romance seem distant and out-of-reach. He makes you think it's exclusive, available only to those who know Mischa Barton (and even then, it seems that things will end belly-up.)
Well, thanks a lot! This is all the confirmation that I need. Not only will I not be receiving a dozen long stemmed roses tomorrow, but, even if I did meet George Clooney, JB reckons he wouldn't buy them for me, anyway!
So join me tomorrow, and switch off the wireless if you hear the early strains of sadness that belong to our nemesis.
Can't we return to the days of Whitney and Mariah, of bodyguards and heroes? Or what about Huey Lewis and the power of his love? Ah, once again, this old-fashioned lass yearns for a simpler time...a time for JB to get back to where he once belonged (incidentally, it's the perfect place for him...the British Army...)
Comments
Hehe, that's true Lauren. My freinds cant understand why i don't like him. Maybe I'll tell them to read this from now on
Posted by: joey | February 14, 2006 03:51 PM
Haha, I am a fan of JB but I understand your dilemma of not being able to escape a song or an artist. Beyonce's "Check On Me" has been following me around for a couple of weeks, and it's the only song I hate to the extent that as soon as I catch a note of it, I scream so loudly that my voice covers said "music" and keep screaming until I've reached the radio to turn it off.
Posted by: Asako | February 15, 2006 01:32 AM
Oh no, Asako...we are destined never to be best buds...I love that song...
Posted by: Lauren | February 15, 2006 09:58 PM
the day i read this post i got his song in my head ALL DAY. thanks for nothing ;)
Posted by: cath | February 16, 2006 04:13 PM
Lauren, what you said makes me cry. At least tell me you don't have the ring tone.
Posted by: Asako | February 20, 2006 12:35 AM
If I could work out how to use the ringtone function on my phone, I probably would have it...but luckily for you, Asako, I'm technophobic!
Posted by: Lauren | February 24, 2006 03:26 PM