Sydney Life

My cousin and I went to stay at our grandfather’s place in the holidays last year, and every morning was the same ordeal. After about twenty “five more minutes”s, she yanked my doona off and promptly walked out of the room with it in tow, to which I responded by curling up in her bed. Apparently. I don’t actually remember most of this happening.

And this isn’t just the holiday me, which is why I should have just conceded years ago to the fact that I’m not a morning person. I am the biggest night owl there is, and I know everybody says they’re bad at waking up, but I can garauntee that I am the absolute worst.

So in this sense, it’s unfortunate that I’m rather optimistic; always wanting to grab the bull by the horns, feeling a day is wasted if you sleep half through it (I know, I’m a walking contradiction). I like to have an unavoidable appointment in the morning, so I’m forced to get up early and not fritter away in bed. When I customised my timetable, I held this thought in mind.

Now, I really, really, really, really regret it. On Wednesdays, I start at 11am, and that’s quite nice. On Tuesdays, I start at 2pm. That’s even nicer. Every other day, it’s 9am. Not cool. The need to escape from the ritual 9am start of high school has taken over, and next semester I plan to have, at the very earliest, 11am starts. This semster, though, I’m just glad I didn’t take my horn-grabbing, brazen ideals to the 8am level. Yes, there is such a thing as the heinous 8am start (a friend says she has to wake up at 5am to make it. It’s still dark!)

I think it’s a direct result of my disability to wake up in the morning that I have developed such a speedy AM routine. In Year 9 I was in four of the school bands whose rehearsals started at 7.30 am on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I managed to whittle down my schedule to opening a bleary and sleep-stained eye at ten past seven and still making it, only occasionally late.

So, here are some tips for getting out of the house quickly, from an expert who has perfected the art:

Always do everything you possibly can, the night before (the only place I drew the line on this was actually sleeping in my uniform, and even that was only because I have people in my house who won’t let me out the door with a crinkly shirt/skirt). For example:

• Packing your bag - I always thought this was just common bloody sense until I asked a few of my friends in high school what their morning schedule was like, and in between redundant activities such as “brushing my hair” and “eating breakfast”, they actually managed to scrounge the time to pack their bag. Hearing that was just non-kapeesh for me.
• Picking your clothes - I don’t get really finicky about clothes, but I do like to change what I wear day by day, and sometimes the morning simply isn’t the best time to wade through a pile of material in search of something clean
• Homework - this isn’t even a morning-haters thing. At night, you have all night to finish that assignment/essay/exercise. In the morning, you only have from whatever time you woke up until the time you have to leave. Doesn’t anyone get this?
• Making lunch - get your water, fruit, snacks, etc all ready the night before in a nice pile on the kitchen table. Sandwiches tend to get soggy so sacrifice the extra 7 minutes in the morning to make it then. In a pinch, you can always buy food on campus, and though it gets so tempting sometimes, a true Uni student knows the meaning of the word ”thrifty”
• Showering - unless you drowned in your sweat during the night, managed to roll into something that would need cleaning off (which, you know, shouldn’t really have been on your bed in the first place, so you might want to just deal with it since it’s your own fault anyway), and/or realised in the harsh light of day that you can’t altogether remember what you did last night but have a general idea on account of the bags under your eyes being big enough for you to go grocery shopping without wasting a plastic bag or the extra $1 for an enviro-bag, your hair looking like a birds nest post-predator attack, and your managing to fall asleep (read: passing out) without changing out of last night’s clothes, which incidentally have something that looks like peanut butter and bird feathers (from the nest?) crusted onto them, showers can wait until night (I tend to reserve them for after I get dirty during the day).

• A thermos. Coffee on the go, and cheaper than cafe made ones on campus (but in emergencies, I do condone). In summer, you could even prepare some ice coffee and stick it in the fridge. Viola! Another thing to do the night before (and it is okay to surrender a few extra seconds of sleep to add milk in the morning, unless you’re into the yoghurt-like skin it will no doubt produce ).
• A hat, and some huge sunglasses. This takes care of hair and make up! In my case, helmet hair is the perfect thing to blame for any lack of morning lustre/unkemptness