I'm a law student, which means I'm very good at thinking about rules and regulations. I grew up in the suburbs of Sydney and was taught unwritten rules about what expectations surround friendship. I've drafted my own legislation which makes explicit the "unwritten" rules I believe in. This legislation attempts to balance the rights and responsibilities of both friends to each other by giving aggrieved parties a chance to proportionately deal with infringements to friendship loyalty, without over-penalising natural feelings that sometimes develop in uncomfortable and inappropriate circumstances. It recognises, but does not excuse, human frailty.
You think this is crazy? You haven't seen my case law! Here it goes. Introducing the...
Friendship and Personal Relationships Act 2006 (GAS)
Part 1: Enactment
This act comes into force retrospectively from September 5, 1984.
Part 2: Definitions
1. In this Act;
"Date" means a meeting between persons with an expressed or unexpressed interest in forming a romantic relationship.
"Friend" means any persons whom you define as such, and with whom you share a significant and emotional relationship.
"Major Crush" means any person from whom a friend has expressed strong interest in for a significant period of time.
"Material Crush" means the Major Crush your Friend has for another party.
"Material Relationship" means the relationship between your Friend and their Significant Ex.
"Moved On" means a real and expressed loss of interest in a past crush or romantic relation.
"Sexual Contact" means an intentional physical response to a sexual attraction or motivation.
"Significant Ex" means any person to whom a Friend has expressed, or felt, love for.
Part 3: Offences Relating to Relationships and Friendships with Significant Exs and Major Crushes
Section 2 – Dating Significant Exs or Major Crushes
2. Generally, a Friend must not Date or have Sexual Contact with a Friend’s Significant Ex or past or present Major Crush.
2A. If a mutual crush appears to be developing between you and your Friend's Significant Ex or Major Crush, you may pursue the Significant Ex or Major Crush if:
(i) A reasonable time has passed since your Friend broke up with the Significant Ex or has Moved On from the Major Crush; and
(ii) Your Friend has been given an bona fide opportunity to object; and
(iii) Your Friend has actually Moved On.
2B. A "reasonable time" in Section 2A(i) will be decided on a case-to-case basis, but factors to be considered include but are not limited to:
(i) The length of time of the Material Relationship or Material Crush.
(ii) The seriousness of the Material Relationship or Material Crush.
(iii) Whether it was your Friend's decision to end the Material Relationship.
(iv) Whether the Material Relationship or Material Crush ended amicably.
(v) Whether the Significant Ex or Major Crush acted in a malicious or negligently wrong way against your Friend.
2C. "Acted in a malicious or negligently wrong way" in Section 2B(v) will be taken to include, but not be limited to:
(i) Any infidelity outside the agreed parameters of sexual openness or closeness in the Material Relationship.
(ii) Domestic physical or emotional violence.
(iii) Behaviour constituting harassment or vilification.
(iv) Gossip, backstabbing or the spread of salacious rumours about your Friend during or after the Material Relationship/Material Crush ended.
Section 3 – Conflicts of Interest in Friendships with Significant Exs
3. Where a friendship between you and a Friend’s Significant Ex developed as a result of the Material Relationship, you must not continue that friendship when the Material Relationship has dissolved, except where;
(i) The friendship is significant and your Friend has been given a bona fide opportunity to object; or
(ii) A reasonable time has passed after the end of the Material Relationship and your Friend has resumed a friendship with her or his Significant Ex.
3A. Where a conflict of interest develops between your Friend and your Friend’s Significant Ex, your loyalty must lie with your Friend’s interests in all circumstances, even to the detriment of your friendship with the Significant Ex.
3B. A conflict of interest requires full disclosure to your Friend.
Section 4 – Punishment for Contravening Sections 2 & 3
4. A Friend must exercise procedural fairness principles when deciding if Sections 2 or 3 have been contravened.
4A. If Section 2 and/or 2A is contravened, a Friend may:
(i) Forgive voluntarily; and/or
(ii) Express anger at the offending Friend, demand an apology and express interest in having the relationship end, but may not force the developing relationship to end.
4B. Where aggravating circumstances exist under Section 2A and/or 2B, a Friend may:
(i) Forgive voluntarily; and/or
(ii) Express anger at the offending Friend, demand an apology and express interest in having the relationship end, and threaten to end the friendship unless the developing relationship ends; or
(iii) End the friendship with the offending Friend.
4C. If Section 3 and/or 3B is contravened, a Friend may:
(i) Forgive voluntarily; and/or
(ii) Express anger at the offending Friend, demand an apology and express interest in having the friendship end, but may not force the friendship relationship to end.
4D. Where aggravating circumstances exist under Section 3A, a Friend may:
(i) Forgive voluntarily; and/or
(ii) Express anger at the offending Friend, demand an apology and express interest in having the relationship end, and threaten to end the friendship unless the developing relationship ends; or
(iii) End the friendship with the offending Friend.
4E. An offending Friend should offer a gesture of compensation when they contravene any offences under Part 3.