Sydney Life

Awhile ago, someone commented that they'd never seen me in the same pair of earrings twice.

I took this as a compliment owing to my diverse yet chic taste in fashion, and carried on.

This afternoon, the meaning of this friend's words suddenly struck me, as I was making a vague attempt to clean my room.

Chains, pendants, brooches, earrings, watches were spilling everywhere (alarmingly, out of the three jewellery boxes I own.) As I began to tidy them, I decided to make an inventory of my findings.

Before I tell you the results, I would like to begin by saying that I came to the fashion game very late. Everyone else was collecting 200 points as they passed the QVB and I was stuck in Fashion Jail (Supre?) I wasn't a tomboy - "tomboy" implies I climbed trees, sported a cute smile and was best friends with a boy named Dawson.

No, I was just daggy. I wore leather pants in Year Nine. No, it wasn't "Dress Up Like A Whore Day", or even "Channel Sandy from Grease Day." However, it did turn out to be "Lauren is Exhibiting Her Lack of Fashion Sense Day."

So, when I did discover dresses and skirts and jeans that fit me properly, I was excited. And with the clothes, came the accessories. The bags, the glasses, the hats, the scarves, the belts and of course, the jewellery.

All the jewellery. So, so, so much jewellery. Here is what I found:

Rings - 12
Bracelets - 18
Pendants/Chains/Beads - 42
Toe Rings - 5
Anklets - 3
Watches - 4
Brooches - 5
Earrings - Hoop - 11
- Studs - 7
- Drops - 33

I'm addicted. I simply cannot stop buying jewellery. Cheap jewellery; expensive jewellery; handmade jewellery; silver jewellery; gold jewellery...I do not care. I will buy anything, as proven above.

Why would anyone need more than one watch? And how could I possibly have accumulated over 50 pairs of earrings?

I've never had panic attack, but I imagine the scene that followed this inventory closely resembled one. I began to think of the money I might have spent on all these jewels.

If we estimate that generally, each piece of jewellery (taking into consideration that a watch will be far more expensive than a toe ring, and that some types of jewellery, like gold or white gold is more expensive than silver-plated) is around $30, I have spent $4200 on jewellery.

This is more than my uni fees for two semesters.

This is a third of my car's value.

This is crazy.

So, seeing as though I cannot get my money back, and seeing as though I cannot get my time or energy spent on shopping returned to me, I am asking all of you to try and help me rationalize my purchases. Tell me about the excessive amounts of money you have spent on shoes, bags, and clothes. Please.

Otherwise, if you have seen me out and about with my new pearls or my hot butterfly brooch, let me know...at least then I can comfort myself with the knowledge that the $4200 was a good investment.