Sydney Life

In my version of Genesis, Adam is a goofy, gangly teen boy with hopes of scoring a spot at prestigious Brown University.

Eve is an erudite, stylish blonde whose quirkiness oozes with genuine charisma.

And the snake? An equally stylish (though less original), cute-as-a-button rich young thing with a shrieking volume to match Daddy’s credit card limit – MAX.

Ah, yes, fellow OC Obsessed, I am speaking of our current love triangle. No longer do we have to pretend to care about those other, infinitely more monotonous struggles between Ryan, Marissa and whichever unfortunate character is written in for a week to test the lovers’ loyalty.

With the return of Anna Stern (a.k.a Eve) I am delighted to announce the reprise of the Seth-Anna-Summer tug-of-love.

In Season One, Anna returned to Pittsburgh knowing she had done all she could to win the S-Man’s heart, but to no avail. Her prized comic book was no match for Summer’s saucy Wonder Woman get-up. After all, if she’s in training to be Seth’s betrothed (and thus, a Noopsie) a lady must be aware of the finer points of costume-dressing, for those myriad Newport parties.

And while Seth went along with Little Miss Sunshine and her parade of chirpy lunacy, I think we all knew that deep down, he had made the wrong decision.

Summer is lovely, it’s true. But she is also ten crazy boxes of neuroses packed into a pre-teen body.

Yep, she’s sassy, and sure, she can pull of that ‘I’m-all-that-and-a-Prada-clutch’ attitude. But her quips are just not enough for Our Seth. He needs someone with whom he can discuss the semiotics of Superman, not debate the ketchup to fries ratio.

Luckily Anna, O Chosen One, is now back. In her first episode since Season One, she orchestrated a meeting with the Dean of Admission for Seth (who failed to get into his university of choice, Brown) and when that plan went awry, she deftly had him enrolled in a nearby school – all so he could be closer to Summer.

The girl is a finely-tuned intellectual Olympian – her generous gestures will only gain her further interest at the Bank of Cohen. And very soon, mark my words, she will be paid accordingly.