Sydney Life

Beebop had been slinging insults at Cowboy Dave all afternoon. A heady mixture of Coco Pops and Mornings with Kerri-Ann had left the beady eyed monster sugared-up, over-stimulated and just aching to buy a lovely new-yet-retro-style Mixmaster for the kitchen.

Cowboy Dave was livid: he’d just been dumped by his girl Foxy McLovelyface the night before. Slighted by woman, spitting testosterone like nobody’s business, Dave was looking for a bit of a rumble. He mounted his trusty mare Plastic Fantastic and yelled to Beebop.

“Why don’t you come over here and say that?”

^^ In the orange corner: Cowboy Dave!

^^ And the green corner: Beebop el Fingerpuppet!

The aforementioned "rumble" (evidenced by the obligatory "are you ready to, etc etc") then proceeded to play out on my desk. It was tough to pull myself away from a scintillating investigation of copyright law, but I managed to capture a few action shots...

^^ Beebop grabs an early advantage when he employs the dirty "face-flesh grab" (good to try on dough-faced opponents with slow reflexes)

^^ The spindly-fingered monster then capitalises on his lead by trying to swallow Plastic Fantastic's entire skull (hey, you take away a man's transport you take away his PRIDE. )

^^ And then a massive upset!! Cowboy Dave isn't gonna take this from a toothless rubbery old HAG like Beebop! He retracts Plastic Fantastic's head from Beebop's yawning canyon of a mouth and pulls out the old-school "head stomp of death but in this case just a bit of a headache" move. VICTORY!!!

...

Later that night I hear Cowboy Dave say to Beebop: "You know, you still look very fine in that lovely peach pantsuit you have. You should wear it more often."

Beebop smiles. "Thanks Dave. I'm sorry I tried to eat Plastic Fantastic's head."

Their StuVac tiffs always end happily. I hope my essay turns out the same way.