Sydney Life

Water, water all around, so let’s all drink... something else.

No study regimen is complete without a choice selection of liquids at your fingertips. Whether you crave a sugar hit every fifteen minutes, or you can’t get through the morning without a double latte, or you just want to drink so you can urinate more and hence decrease the number of minutes you actually have to spend at your desk, the beverage is an important consideration. I’d possibly go so far as to say that it’s more important than pens.

Last week was particularly heinous for me (the blog posts prove it...). The following is a recap of the beverages I chose to help get me through. Their effectiveness ranged from “liquid sunshine in a cup” to “seizuremaking helltimes through a straw”. Drink up!

DIRT WATER aka “reward yourself with Riva because obviously you’ve done something really terrible”

Instant coffee. Looks like dirt, tastes... better than dirt, just. Riva is probably one of the least offensive instant coffees on the market. Oh wait, no, it’s cheap. That’s why it’s at my house! Now that I think about it, those “reward yourself with Riva” ads make me almost as mad as the Brandpower lady does. But like I said: cheap.

Dirt water also has the distinct advantage that you can drink more of it than the fancy stuff from your local cafe. It’s got less caffeine, so you’d probably have to make three trips to the kitchen to get the same tremors you’d get from one cup of espresso. Also, you avoid having to deal with a snooty barista. Yeah, you make coffee. My friend makes aeroplanes. Whatever.

TANG

Remember Tang? It’s back! Actually, it never left. It’s just waiting for a killer promotional push to get it back into the public psyche. It’s got to be something snappy... Remember “My Dad picks the fruit that goes to Cottees”? That was a catchy-as-hell jingle. I’ve been trying to compose something myself...

Tang, Tang, orange flavoured drink
Makes you laugh, makes you think
If only my mum loved me as much as yours loves you
Then maybe we’d have Tang too... and an XBox

What do you reckon? Or how about something a bit more urban, say, sung to the tune of Justin Timberlake’s Sexyback: “I’m bringing citrus back/ all that dairy got you acting wack...”

Anyway. Tang is great. Reminds me of discos in primary school, getting crazy to the Nutbush City Limits and wearing slouch socks.

LIPTON MINT GREEN TEA

My sister and I used to play cooking shows in our backyard when we were little. Some of our dishes would have put those little upstarts on Fifteen (aka Another Love-In With Jamie Oliver’s Pretty Hair -- Now With More Tobey) to shame. I think those days of mashing up flower petals and making mud pies really cemented in me a love for the daytime cooking show. Pity it didn’t translate to kitchen skills with actual food.

In short, take some bits of grass, a couple of spearmint leaves, some water from the hose. Boil it all up, and you’ve got Lipton mint green tea. Screw paying money for the stuff.

BLACK SAMBUCA

When insanity comes a-knocking, give it a shot of this. If you’ve done all the study you can handle, if you’ve got the shakes, and you think the only thing stopping you from breaking your own arm to get special consideration is the fact that you’d probably just be given a semiliterate first year student to scribe your exam while you dictate, then have a drink! You deserve it.

Plus, let’s be honest. You’re too much of a pussy to try and break your own arm anyway.