Sydney Life

(an acute hangover-related illness, often involving headaches and vomiting. In some cases memory loss will occur, though most common symptoms are lethargy and inability to concentrate or compose any form of recognisable speech.

It doesn’t bite, it doesn’t sting, and it won’t swell up the next day, but symptoms of BN are still quite easily detectable.)

As a recent high school graduate, you may find yourself more often than not a victim of the Big Night (BN). Especially if, as a post-exam celebration, you have embarked on the wonderful (read: drunken) adventure week that is schoolies.

Perhaps finishing your exams renders your previous reason (procrastination) for reading this blog redundant but still, if you are out there, take heed: know the warning signs, and act with caution (and slow movements).

How to know you’re a victim (the tell-tale signs):

1. Waking up in last night’s clothes: this is the first sign of a BN attack, and the subsequent symptoms may not all occur, and may vary from person to person.

2. Mild amnesia / minimal recollection of previous nights’ happenings.

3. Physical symptoms may include broken nails, bleeding bodily orifices, scratches on arms/legs or other rogue marks on your body that cannot be accounted for from any event in your working memory

4. Packets of panadol and empty take-away Thai containers (see also: kebabs) haphazardly strewn around kitchen / living room / bathroom / bedroom

5. Next-day craving developed for unhealthily greasy foods

6. Snippets of previous night might come back to you; events may include moments of deep shame caused by thick beer goggles, or an attempt to bike ride despite being on the slightly more inebriated side of sober (and all of a sudden your injuries make sense)

7. You are receiving SMS and email replies to things you don’t remember sending, and perhaps wouldn’t have had you been in a clearer state of mind. Some people have officially stamped you as “deranged” and are slowly attempting to denounce your status from “friend” to something closer to “that crazy person I know”.

8. As the day wears on you may realise you’ve left your keys at home, you’re wearing odd shoes, and sentences are proving construct difficult to, very.

*The above story is entirely fictional. Any similary to real events is purely coincidental. That is, unless you were with me that night... The last thing I remember is, “Hey Asako, you’ve never come to drinks! We owe you a whole year’s worth!”.......

That can be dangerous.