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I only remember two things from Year 7 German. 'Das ist mein hamburger', which is quite self-explanatory, and the title of this blog, which very accurately describes the state of my computer at the moment. And is probably spelt all wrong. Go on Simon, correct me. You know you want to.

Isn't it sad when your whole life crashes down along with your computer?

I didn't think I was one of those people that were so attached to their phone/computer/iPod until one actually broke… Well the first step to getting better is admitting you have a problem, right?

Hi, I'm Asako. I'm a techno-holic, and here's my story.

So, my computer died the other day.

Fortunately, I sensed the imminent crash*, and on its last day alive (no exaggeration), I saved all my blogs to a flash drive. Unfortunately they are in a file unreadable by PCs, ie the vast majority of computers I have access to at the moment.

So I gave the tech-help people a buzz. They informed me, though in a very round-about way, that if they were to actually guide me through it I would owe them $50. I needed to do some kind of "archive install" to my computer, which basically meant reinstalling the whole thing. And there is a slight chance that everything will be wiped so is there someone I know with a Mac that I can back all my stuff onto? Okay, sorry, no more questions can be answered at this stage and I'm now being directed to the support website which should give me all the solutions.

Two hours and one disc refusing to come out of my computer later, my screen is stuck on a light blue page with the Mac equivalent of the hourglass, telling me to wait. So I give tech help another call.

Okay, this time you're going to have to do an "erase install". This will necessarily wipe your entire computer so you're going to have to back everything up on another Mac. We can do it for you at a rate of $110 per hour, or you can buy a firewire-to-firewire cable and do it yourself. Oh yeah, sure, that'll only cost like five bucks.

Well.. I do NOT like the people at Dick Smith. They think they know more about Macs than me and the Mac help place combined? They tried to sell me a 4 pin to 4 pin firewire cable, and then a 4 pin to 6 pin firewire cable, even though I had my computer right there to show them that that little 4-pin thing ain't gonna fit in my 6-pin firewire hole. "I don’t even know why you'd be connecting two computers up anyhow, that's not normal", I was informed. They also tried to convince me that the cable I was looking for didn't exist. I took my business elsewhere and purchased one hassle free, though it did cost me seven times the estimated price.

I managed to find a neighbour I used to babysit for who had oodles of space on his Mac ("Sure, I've got 161 free gigs on this external hard drive thingie-bob"), and he educated me on the merits of one of these new-frangled "external hard drive" things. So, while my laptop stays overnight at his house being emptied, I sit here and type away on my dad's computer, and plan to go out tomorrow and spend my most recent paycheque on one of these… things. In fact they're so nifty and affordable I'll probably have some cash left over for ice cream.

Meanwhile, I'm sensing a trend in things breaking around me. First it was my watch, which I could handle (even though my back up watch had just died the week before), because it probably just needs a new battery. But then it was my computer, and the virus seemed to spread around to things in the house that weren't just mine, like our phone, television, fridge, and toasted sandwich maker.

Maybe a sign to slow down a bit on the technology? Who knows? What I do know, however, is that I really don’t like this Word on PC. I know it may offend you all out there, but these little green squiggly lines are really ticking me off, and don't even get me started on unhelpful, trying-to-be-cool-but-failing, annoying old Mr Paper Clip.

*Is it sad that this is the only thing I've been able to "read" accurately about my life, and it's actually a machine? I've been looking everywhere for signs about my personal life but it just goes and explodes with no warning. Unfair. (Please don't suggest I start dating my computer.)

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Everything you ever wanted to know about uni but were too afraid to ask....