Sydney Life

The pie machine’s making another guest appearance. While I was sitting up in Manning with a friend, I watched as the line for the mystic pie machine grew from zero, to one, to two, to three. Amazing, I thought, people actually use the thing. Shrapnel’s slotted in and the patron watches on bewildered at the black magic; two minutes later, a steaming hot pie (some say the origin of the pies are divine) drops down, and one’s suspension of disbelief is broken. Having a mind that doesn’t tend to stay on topic for long, my thoughts give way to something of greater importance.

Taking an old quote, it is a truth universally acknowledged that any man, despite having possession of a brain, is lacking in tact, or so says my friend, Paula. Tactlessness. It’s been on my mind for a week or so, actually. After my own golden moment of tactlessness, Paula challenged me to incorporate the theme into a post. Coming from an all-boy’s penitentiary high school, and suddenly being exposed to an environment where the other sex is just unavoidable, one’s tactlessness in front of girls is definitely brought to the fore. Now don’t think that I was totally oblivious to girls – I was, and am, quite the lady’s man (I can hear friends now, “Oh Yi! You’re such a sweetie” or so I’d like to think).

Anyway, this is an extract from the MSN conversation that inspired it all with names edited to save face, except mine:

…
Me: Wally told me he was with Jane for a bit…
Pippa: When was this?
Me: Ahh…sometime post-HSC. Haha, the guy hooks up with anyone and anything, the bugger!
Pippa: OMG WHAT ARE YOU CALLING JANE THEN!

And from Facebook…
Friend: My boyfriend told me to use my $1000 inheritance to either enlarge or reduce my assets…
Me: Did he really say that? At least he gave you a choice.
Friend: …see, another example of lack of tact – “at least he gave you a choice” - …

Très my bad, I have to admit. First, Jane’s a very nice girl. Very nice. But obviously I didn’t think of the implications that were contained in that comment. Now that I think about it, other examples just seem way out of line.

But then girls aren’t the only group you can be tactless towards on campus, as I’ve learnt. Voting for Justin Hancock on Wednesday on the basis of a cooler shirt didn’t make the SRC or Lefties too happy, it only reveals my greater ignorance of the grand scheme of things. Your hockey team won’t be happy if you miss a match because of a high fever; even your own death won’t cut it, it’s “just not good enough” quoth He (by the way we won last weekend 1-0. I'm the 2nd blue guy from the left). Friends are insulted if research for an Old English essay takes priority over a night out…fair enough. Jewish friends won’t be amused at an un-kosher use of ‘kosher’.

Maintaining all those relationships you have with people is one of the keys to success in uni. So tact’s always a useful virtue to carry around in your wallet. But am I really that lacking in tact? I don’t think I am. I’m pretty confident in my abilities to keep someone hooked on the line without revealing an innate lack. But apparently, my lack signals a lack in all men. To Paula, I represent the greater tactlessness that plagues the world, where tactlessness is the cause of global warming, loveless beds and the mass extinction of the dinosaurs.