Uni seems different around this time of year. Although it was seen on a slightly smaller scale for the USU board elections, a general hustling and bustling is pervading the campus atmosphere. Most of the hustling comes from the sounds of flyers being carried around, and stapled diligently to notice boards and walls. Most of the bustling comes the hastened scratching of chalk on concrete, or that of electoral candidates and their thralls (edit: promoters), working hard to bring their message to the masses. That’s right; it’s the Presidential/Honi elections.
Now, now. I hear your cries already. ‘What could a seventeen/eighteen year old care about university politikking? I’d rather talk about girls/boys/video games.’ In all honesty, I totally agree with this view, particularly the bit about the games. So, to alleviate your fears, no I’m not about to rant about why you should vote for one group or the other, or even to replay the endless comparisons of Coleman (a candidate) to Chuck Norris, or Noah White (candidate + party currently in power) to the devil. Trust me, both of these are being done to death. Rather, I’m just going to relate the views of an innocent, slightly cynical bystander during these rather hectic proceedings.
First up, an explanation. Each year, the ‘Student Body’ may vote (an entirely voluntary process) for a President and for a Honi editorial team – the Honi Soit is the weekly student newspaper. All in all, it’s basically a choice for an SRC leader and what style of paper you fancy reading for the year. Simple enough? Not according to the people running.
As a student, you better get prepared for the veritable mountain of paper that will come your way. I mean a lot. Entreaties to vote a particular way – great lists of the electoral promises, coupled with equally entertaining lists of the opposing candidate’s short comings make for excellent *cough* reading. Although, as I’ve said earlier that I’m not taking any sides, I must comment on the master stroke on Coleman’s flyer campaign. Printing a 5 in 1 ‘Samurai Sudoku’ on the reverse side of his Chuck Norris comparison sheet guaranteed that I learned absolutely nothing for the following 8 hours. Heh. I still haven’t finished the damn thing.
Also, be prepared for the beginning of your lectures to be heralded by would-be politicians shouting their goals to the entire room. Nothing entertains me more (read: less) than being woken from my catatonic pre-8am Maths state by an ardent arts student reading something that sounds like a cross between the Communist Manifesto and Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have A Dream’ speech.
Maybe it’s because we’re first years, or just engineers and scientists with no time to get involved in political shenanigans (the joke/generalisation is that only arts students really have the time to run campaigns, everyone else is too busy working). There just doesn’t seem to be as much interest in these proceedings as one might expect. Believe it or not, there’s actually not much that we’d change about the union – First years really have nothing to compare it against, so it’s rather hard to get really enthused by the ‘Injustices’ we’re supposed to suffer.
As I’ve made it perfectly clear to every candidate, campaigner or associated political miscreant who’s approached me about voting – I’ll vote for whoever gives me free sauce (as opposed to 40c for a miniscule squeezy thingo), access to microwaves (another thing we don’t have), and a guaranteed blanket ban on Chuck Norris jokes, now and forever.