Writing Place

Sophie. There were moments in this that I really loved. Your second introductory para was fabulous, for example, as it drew together a no. of ideas that we discussed throughout the semester (the concept of what a place is, debates about placelessness, and the subjective nature of these things). In one sense I also appreciated the way you structured your discussion. I liked the way you pulled out 3 impressionistic quotes with which to begin each section. There was almost a sense of the triptych about your structure: three different glimpses of the history of the highway in Australia.

It seemed to me, however, that you needed to draw together your three points into more of a coherent argument. Instead of just showing that the imagination of the highway has been influenced by fear, the desire for adventure, and personal challenge, you could have talked about the fact that these three things interact with each other (fear and adventure, for example, are v. closely linked). This would have allowed you to more closely integrate your 3 sections.

I also think that your should have introduced more of a chronological logic to your discussion. It seemed logical to me to begin with the fact that the explorers effectively took the first Anglo roadtrip in this continent, instead of talking about this at the end of the paper. Starting off with Pat Farmer and the Solar Challenge didn’t make a lot of sense to me. And it didn’t seem particularly convincing to me, either. Maybe if you had talked more about the way that this kind of endurance challenge related to the earlier history of the highway, you would have been able to develop a more sophisticated argument about its significance in Australian culture over time.

Regards, Melissa